Hazards of Teleworking
#1 – Choking
When you are in a completely silent home--which is
usually filled with the noise of four children and a very loud
husband--working away and suddenly a toy goes off, making some ungodly
noise, causing you to jump out of your skin, and choke on the Dorito that you
were just inhaling.
#2 – Falling
When your husband doesn’t properly repair the damaged screen
at the top of the chimney, and he also leaves the flu open, and a squirrel
comes tumbling down INTO YOUR HOUSE, and you RUN LIKE PHOEBE and trip and
fall into the laundry room where you barricade yourself away from the two pound
rodent.
I didn’t actually fall or choke, but I could have. I also
could have had a heart attack or peed myself.
So technically you could add:
#3 - Breaking a bone
When you slip on your bodily fluid because something
terrified you and caused you to lose control of your bladder while running like
a maniac to escape said something's vicious 1/4 inch claws.
#4 - Heart attack
When your dad doesn't live a block away and can't come
rescue you from said rodent, so you have to use a broom to whoosh it while
hopping up and down and squealing, terrifying the rodent, so instead of it
running out the door, which you forgot to open because dad wasn't there
to tell you to open it, it scrambles up your leg, vaults to your
torso, and plunges into your face, clawing your eyeballs out. Or at least you
think that's what's going to happen, so you have a heart attack just imagining
it.
OH… and the squirrel was so scared, he peed a little dribble
on the floor, which was a yellowy-greenish-brown and thicker than your
typical human urine. Guess who had to clean that up? :raises hand:
You’re welcome.
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